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Definitely Not Witches Definitely Aren't

Pay no attention to the bubbling cauldron in the corner. We are merely making soup.

Following a wave of bizarre weather events, mysterious happenings and spontaneous frog transformations of local politicians, the women who claim to be Definitely Not Witches held a press conference to address accusations of harnessing the powers of nature to collude with nefarious powers for personal gain.

“All allegations made as to the nature of our coven - sorry, improv troupe - are completely unfounded and slanderous ,” said Caitlin McNaughton, theatre maker, improvisor and definitely not a witch. Despite a light rain falling, Ms McNaughton appeared to be entirely dry.

“It’s truly preposterous,” said Christine Brooks, pausing briefly to brush frogspawn off her long black cloak and adjust her wide brimmed black hat. “We vehemently deny all accusations and invite all who would speak ill against our good name to come and see the evidence for our case.”

“Our show Definitely Not Witches will provide opportunity for us to demonstrate once and for all that we are very ordinary, simple women, who certainly do not possess any kind of magical powers,” said Jennifer O’Sullivan in response to a reporter who was mysteriously silenced following her steely glare.

Members Rose Cann and Abby Howells were unavailable for comment, as they had important other business to attend to. At the time of writing a huge swirling vortex spiraling above the Mt Victoria lookout that started around the same time had not yet abated.

About the company

Born from the collaboration that was ‘Taking off the Bird Suit’ (June 2014, BATS Theatre), Definitely Not Witches are a new improv ensemble inspired to work together and bring their own brand of hilarity to the Wellington stage. Catch them in their debut, eponymous performance this Fringe and enjoy an hour improvised hour of theatrical fun as these clever, funny not-witches weave stories and characters from nothing. It’s almost magic...

Featuring the combined talents of Christine Brooks, Rose Cann, Abby Howells, Caitlin McNaughton and Jennifer O’Sullivan.

Praise for Taking Off The Bird Suit:
“Thoroughly and consistently entertaining and, most importantly, hilarious” - Word on the Street

Definitely Not Witches

Dates: 25-28 February 2015 at 9:00PM

Venue: The Dome, BATS Theatre, 1 Kent Terrace

Tickets: $18/$14/$12 Addict Card Holders

More Info:,

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